


Breathe In, Breathe Out

by orphan_account



Category: Chaos Walking - Patrick Ness
Genre: F/M, Song fic, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-21 03:42:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/895373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Viola's feelings at the end of Monsters of Men.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathe In, Breathe Out

**Author's Note:**

> This has been floating round my head for a while, and have just written it. The song is Breathe In, Breathe Out by Polly Scattergood, and the first time I heard it after reading Monsters of Men, it reminded me of the ending.
> 
> Here is a link to the song:  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2SoLdFs3wg
> 
> Enjoy!  
> ~UltimateGryffindork

You are constant

Constant to me

Though you're distant

You are my shadow

Constantly

Viola sat by Todd, ignoring the fatigue that threatened to overcome her, clutching his hand, mopping his brow. He was her constant; the only thing that kept her sane, the only thing that kept her down to earth, the only thing that was worth living for. She knew that he was far away, but still there somewhere, no matter how far it was, and that part of him would live on in her heart, no matter what happened.

Yeah, I'm okay

Thanks for asking

Wrote too many pointless love songs

She thought about what he would think if he saw her. She thought about all those wasted moments, moments when she almost hated him, hated what he had become, but now, she could see that it didn't matter. Deep down, he had always been Todd; her Todd, Todd Hewitt, the boy who couldn't kill.

Learn to breathe in

Learn to breathe out

Can't let you go

Can't let you go yet

Learn to breathe in

And then breathe out

Can't let you go

I can't let you go yet

She clung on to his hand, remembering the time when she had pressed her lips to his. She thought about the war, the fighting, the violence. None of it seemed to matter anymore; all that mattered was that he came back to her, that he stayed with her.

I think I felt you

Disappear

Disappear

Disappear

She knew that part of him was slipping away, but she clung onto it. She had been overtaken with grief and anguish, screaming in torturous pain when he didn't come. But that fire had soon burned out, leaving only the ash of hopelessness. Yet under the ash there was new life, hope breaking through.

I know it's awful

But I've already said my goodbyes

And nice to see you

She'd prepared herself for the worst, Ben too. She knew that the chances of him coming back at all were minimal, nearly impossible.

Maybe not you

Lived such a little

But loved such a lot

Learn to breathe in

Learn to breathe out

Can't let you go

Can't let you go yet

Slowly, she chanted under her breath, 'breathe in, breathe out,' an ethereal mantra, hoping that by some small mercy, it would help. She had never believed in a god before, but right now, she was praying with all her might, 'let him breathe in and breathe out'. She knew it was all she could do, but somehow it was not enough.

Learn to breathe in

And then breathe out

Can't let you go

I can't let you go yet

Somehow, though, she knew that wherever he was, he was thinking about her, although whether or not it was just wishful thinking, she didn't know. But there was something there; a spark in those lifeless eyes.

I saw a sparkle

Felt a tremor

Then I thought I saw you in the mirror

'Viola. Viola. Viola. Viola. I-

Love-

You-

Viola'

But I must be crazy

I must have lost my mind

Cause I'm running late over half the time

And somehow, she knew he was there.

'Viola

I-

Love-

You-'

Viola.'

"I love you Todd," she whispered.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment with some feedback.  
> ~UltimateGryffindork


End file.
